Imagine this – You’re having a particularly rough time. Like, really crappy.
Maybe you’re breaking up. Maybe you lost your job. Maybe you had a health diagnosis that blows.
Maybe you ran out of ice cream when you’re PMSing, I don’t know, whatever, just work with me.
It’s a tough time. You’re feeling low.
You open the Omniscient Oracle of social media for some distraction and you see a smarmy meme complete with some kind of glitter rainbow gif, shouting –
Happiness is a choice.
Just choose happy!
There. Feel better?
Fark no.
In fact, you probably rolled your eyes and peppered your screen with expletives, before reaching across your stained tee-shirt for the packet of Tim Tams. Or your wine. Or both.
Maybe, it made you feel crappier because not only did you not choose to feel this in the first place, you can’t see how you can choose something else while you’re still heartbroken/jobless/sick/out of icecream.
I get it. This happiness business can be a lot to swallow when you have a lump in your throat the size of Texas.
So, here’s the thing. The whole you can choose happy thing is kinda BS, but it kinda isn’t also…. hear me out on this.
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You may not exactly be able to switch from “Woe is me, my life is in the toilet,” to “Woopee, everything is rad I’m so #blessed,” however there are certainly a few shades in between those two which may help you to elevate out of Funky Town and get yourself back on track.
I saw Gabrielle Bernstein live in Sydney for her Super Attractor Tour yesterday and amongst many gems, she gave her audience of 2000 a technique for taking the fear-filled, poo flavoured thoughts we may have and finding the next best feeling thought up the emotional ladder.
Her technique is something so similar to a technique I use with my clients, however, this is faster for busy babes on the fly who want to stop feeling crappy pronto.
Basically, Step One is to recognise your story, or the pattern you’re repeating, or the trash talk you’re giving yourself. You see it for what it is, you acknowledge how it makes you feel and where that sits in your body, and you stare it in the eye.
Step Two is to forgive yourself for thinking this beige ass thought. If it is too hard to forgive yourself, and you simply cannot then forgive the thought for popping up.
Then, Step Three in Gabby’s own words – Choose again.
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Chose the next best feeling thought and change your emotional state.
For instance –
“I am not good enough to create the business I want.”
Forgive yourself for this thought, or forgive the thought, then choose next best feeling thought –
“I have the ability to learn anything I don’t yet know and I have the passion to do my best.”
or
“I can’t find a good partner, and I don’t know if I’ll ever have healthy love.”
Forgive yourself for this thought, or forgive the thought, then choose next best feeling thought –
“I find romance and connection within my friendships and by increasing the love I feel for myself and others, I will attract more love.”
or
“I failed at my diet again and I’ll always be fat.”
Forgive yourself for this thought, or forgive the thought, then choose next best feeling thought –
“I’m still learning how best to love myself emotionally and physically and I’ll keep doing my best.”
This type of thinking – this more positive and nurturing choice of thought – doesn’t change your situation, but it does change your perspective on it. The trick to it is practice.
You wouldn’t front up to the New York Marathon having done no preparation or training and expect to finish in the top three. You need to practice. You need to train for it. You need to get your heart, your body and your brain on board the mission and aligned with the goal.
If your goal is to feel better, it takes practice too.
Becoming aware of your thoughts, and opting to choose again when it’s an unhelpful thought is a beautiful practice that you give yourself knowing it will help you to feel good. And that’s the aim of the game really.
To feel good.
It’s good to feel good, as Gabby said to us many times over yesterday.
You deserve to feel good.
You are worthy of feeling good.
Choose feeling good and by default perhaps you’ll choose happy.
