Sex toys are like hair dryers. You can get away without one, but life is so much better when you have one. If you know you want one but have no idea how to buy a sex toy, or what buzzing contraption to get, then buckle up and pay attention.
Whether you’re shopping for something that massages, tickles, vibrates or ravages, your first foray into the land of pleasure devices can be anything from awkward to downright hilarious. Thanks to the joys of the world wide web you can buy sex toys online and forgo any awkward looks should you opt for a dildo that could double as a truncheon. That said, a trip to the local sex shop may prove to be more beneficial than you could imagine in your sauciest dreams.
The staff in sex shops know their stuff. Bear in mind that they’ve seen or heard almost every kink from ’50 Shades’ to ‘WTF??’ so whatever your fancy may be, they can point you towards the vibrating crotch rocket that is right for you.
Know how you like it
The first thing you need to consider when buying a buzzing lover is what kind of sensation floats your boat. Do you want to romance yourself with a non-threatening tickler to enhance clitoral pleasure or do you wish to roger yourself senseless so you don’t sit right for a week?
Sexologist and relationship counsellor, Isiah McKimmie, suggests you get to know yourself manually before you get to know yourself with sex toys.
“Honestly, the best way to choose the right sex toy is to know exactly how and where you like to be stimulated. Are you a clitoris girl, G-spot girl or a penetration girl?” she says. “Of course, it’s great to have more than one, because we like different things at different times.”
Or maybe everything all at once as the case may be.
Don’t scrimp for your lady bits
I can verify that Isiah knows her stuff because my favourite ever sex toy was purchased under her supervision. At Sexpo for “professional” purposes, I confessed that my Pearl Bird (all the rage 15 years ago in the vibe world) had died from either old age or overuse. She steered me towards a stand that had a range of ergonomic, non-phallic, friendly-looking vibrators.
I only bought one because like an amazing hairdryer they don’t come cheap, however, it’s cheaper than buying someone dinner. You don’t need to make small talk or ensure they get their rocks off too. Also, in the land of the vag-gadget you get what you pay for so don’t scrimp for your lady bits, or it may result in disaster.
“Make sure that the toy you’re buying is made of body-safe material. It’s definitely worth paying for quality when it comes to something you’re going to put in your most intimate places,” says Isiah.
“I bought a dildo once, for demonstration purposes, of course, and left it on my bookshelf for a few days. When I came back to it, the paint under the suction cap had literally peeled off, there’s no way I’m going to recommend that anyone put that in their body.”
Include your partner
Demonstration purposes, yeah sure, that’s what I told my parents when my toddler waddled into the lounge holding my new bright orange Sexpo purchase. My parents found it hilarious. My now ex-husband? Not so much.
If you hope to introduce your new pleasure device into your love play with a partner, you should proceed with tact so as not to make anyone feel inadequate.
“This is a big fear that a lot of people have, but sex toys are really not about replacing anyone or anything being inadequate, they’re about enhancing fun and intimacy,” says Isiah.
“It can help your partner to feel more at ease if you go looking for sex toys together and perhaps choose something that is easily incorporated into love-making with a partner. For example couples vibrators or bullet vibrators that can be used during penetration by a partner.”
Whether you’re going it solo, or ramping up your partnered love play, sex toys can be a spectacularly fun part of a healthy sex life, so stop beating around the bush and get ready for a whole new level of emotion for a household gadget.
This article was first published here on Body+Soul.