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My Nana and I have not had an easy relationship.
I have always been unconventional, and Nana is a more traditional lass.
As a teenager, the way I dressed was not appropriate for ‘nice girls,’ nor were my opinions.
I dropped out of school to be an actor.
I worked bars and floated around.
I had a child out of wedlock.
A marriage and a divorce just a few years later.
She often just didn’t quite ‘get’ me.
In turn, I often disappeared on her.
Sometimes for years even though we lived in the same city. 💛
.
As we got older, we warmed to our differences.
I questioned her thinking, got curious about her life and we laughed gently together.
We connected as women and how either of us chose to live didn’t matter so much anymore.
We were both just doing our best.
And sharing time over a cup of tea and a biscuit. 💛
.
After Grandpa went into a home,and then subsequently died, her life became very small.
I would visit every couple of weeks and take a pile of books and home cooked meals for her freezer.
My children got to know her, and she them.
We softened.
Accepted.
Hugged and said ‘I love you.’
💛
.
Nana is 90 now and had to move out of the house she lived in for 65 or so years.
It broke her heart, but it was time.
She was no longer safe on her own.
She is with my mum for a bit then will live with my Uncle.
My uncles are there to pack up her home and when I popped by I saw she had gifted me three vases.
A peacock, a crane and a flamingo.
A little bit flashy, and a little bit regal.
Like us.
I’m not the regal one in case you didn’t get that. 💛
.
I made a space for them immediately and I smile when I look at them.
A reminder that relationships evolve over time as people do.
I love you, my Nana.
💛

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If you love someone, tell them now. ❤️

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You know when the world feels so expansive you feel like ANYTHING is possible?
Exalted by life
Excited by growing.
Engaged with your surroundings.
Unless your world feels constrained
Suffocating and stifling.
Instead of expanding
You contract, shrink,
Take up less space.
This planet, your world, is a place
Of infinite opportunity.
Possibility upon possibility
Yours for the taking.

Not just some people
Everyone brave enough to take a punt on themselves.

Take the chances.
Follow your curiosity.
Dare to dream.
Live with expansion because you deserve all the space you choose the claim in the Universe.
STAKE YOUR CLAIM.

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I’ll be smiling alright. I did all the wild, fun, dumb shit. I’ll be smiling.

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Do you lead or do you follow?
A leader doesn’t have run a big company,
speak to millions from stage,
Or be at the tippy top of the game.

A leader can of course be all of those and more.

But the best leaders are simply people who encourage others,
And support others
To be, think and act their best.
And you live by example.
Not words.
I am both a leader and a follower.
What about you? (📷 Mt Kilimanjaro, Jan 2017)

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REACT VS RESPOND

The flash of injustice,
A spike of anger,
A flare in your blood,
The need to be right.

Do you react or respond?
This has come up a few times this week.
The way reacting often escalates,
Your feelings, their feelings
Like a genie out of the bottle
Impossible to unsay spiky words.

What if you take a beat,
A breath, a momenT
PAUSE?

And be curious and empathic,
Where is this coming from?
In them, and in you?

The pause allows you time to respond,
With thought, compassion and smarts.
Always smarts, but also heart.
How do you want this to end?
Play to that, not to being right.
When you react, they bristle and shut down.
When you respond, you get heard.
Be heard. Get positive outcomes.
Choose love. ❤️❤️❤️

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